Beyond the Pale

Dancing in the Grey

Oh how I love dancing in the grey area that is Dexter. Yes, the Showtime series about the serial killer who only kills killers. I love, love this dark little show about a guy who knocks people off weekly. It is so satisfying to play around with the moral code that this particular 'bad guy' has. I want to have him over for tea and discuss the world's issues. He has a lot on his plate, he needs a cup of tea. The idea that all people carry around dark secrets, or have pieces of themselves that no one else ever sees, has always been intriguing to me.

And I miss the Ice Truck Killer, how's that for crazy? I'm also fascinated by Sylar from Heroes. He is a very bad guy. Should I be worried? No, I think it's just the glasses I like on him. I'm a sucker for guys with glasses, I married one. And mine doesn't kill people... or does he? He does come back late from the studio once in awhile. Hmmmmm.

A Clever, Artsy Dexter Season 3 Preview

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Jude's Toothbrush Holder Concert

I heard a flute-like sound coming from the living room this morning. I figured Rhys was playing around with a toy recorder or something, but couldn't think of anything we had around the house that would make that high-pitched noise. I found Jude with his new musical instrument, a travel toothbrush holder. I guess he did get the musical gene after all. (You may need to pause the jukebox music to hear his little concert.)

Edited on 9/12 to add: Alright, now I'm convinced he's a child prodigy. Here he is playing a battery charger. I just put him on the waiting list for Juilliard.

My Trophy Arrived!

Okay, absolutely nothing tops this. My honorary breastpumping trophy arrived via UPS today. My wonderful, sweet, way-too-far-away friend Sharon had a special trophy made just for me, honoring my 9 months of pumping (see old post "Where's My Trophy?" if you think I'm crazy. Well I am crazy, but see it if you're at all confused). It's a little golden gal wearing a sash and tiara. On the base it says "World's Best Mom! For exceptional pumping dedication." I'm going to put it on a chain and wear it as bling. It's going to be the hugest medallion anyone has ever seen. Sharon... sista... you are so incredible. I really do need to move in next door. I need you closer.

All mothers should have one of these trophies. Whether it be for "Breastfeeding a Biter," "Keeping Yourself Alive on 2 Hours of Sleep Per Day," "Working All Day and Then Coming Home to Your Second Full-Time Job," or how about simply "Birthing a Baby." This needs to be a government-funded gesture, like food stamps. Who's with me?

I'm going to go order Jude a "World Champion Nap Fighter" award.

The Forest

I love trees. I feel most like myself when surrounded by them, I become so small yet feel more powerful. There are so very few trees here in Southern California and they're spread out so that nothing comes close to resembling a forest. We took a quick weekend trip to Los Gatos at the end of July to celebrate Grandma Darby's birthday with her. They live 20 minutes up a windy road, thick with tall redwoods. Their home is perched atop a mountain that overlooks the most gorgeous view of a majestic forest. It is breathtaking, and very hard to leave. The crisp fresh air, the quiet hum of the wind, the soft pine smell... nothing beats it. A cup of coffee tastes better in the woods. Rhys and I have always wanted to live in a place with lots of trees and rain, but life seems to swirl around us so fast that we hardly notice we aren't where we need to be. Then, when we're stuck in heavy traffic or the LA smog is particularly thick, we are jolted back into reality. We are still not in a peaceful, blissful state. Namely Washington. We miss you, Los Gatos, and the peaceful, wonderful calm you bring. And we miss you, Grandma & Grandpa Buchele, for the very same reason.

Crack for Moms

So, just when I've found myself overwhelmed with how many things are on my to-do list, Danielle casually drops Scrapblogging into my life as if it's not going to dangerously interfere. It has been called "crack for moms", and I'm an addict. I'm going to have to start attending meetings and get a sponsor. My house is surely going to suffer for this. My husband is going to be wearing dirty clothes for weeks. Honestly, that won't be much of an adjustment. But oh wow, I'm in a bit of heaven.

Where's my Trophy?

Well, I'm finally done pumping. What a wild ride that was. I gave breastfeeding my best shot (who knew it was so dang hard??) and after 4 personal lactation consultants and a trip to the ER, I decided to exclusively pump for as long as I could. Jude had problems with latching, overeating, and projectile vomiting (which is a disaster when your one and only food source has just been depleted). I don't remember one thing about having a newborn that went "right" or easy... well except for the naps. Jude's naps, I didn't take any. I just stared at the wall and wondered why I ever thought mothering would be easy or fun and tried to plot my way onto a bus going nowhere.
Anyway, I exclusively pumped between 3-6 times a day for 9 straight months, and still have not received my honorary trophy. I hated pumping. Every time I had a moment to myself... it was time to pump. But, there was nothing more satisfying than putting a bag of breastmilk in the fridge after a pump session. And when I had a small stash going, I had to take a picture. I have to remember how proud that made me, to have kept at it for so long. I tried to quit a few times and just couldn't bring myself to do it, which I always thought was strange. If I hate it so much, why can't I stop? Well, my brilliant husband reminded me why: it was something I knew I had truly succeeded at. The proof was in the milk. I fought for it, worked hard at it, and made it happen. It's hard to stop the only thing you're sure you are doing well. There isn't much about motherhood that you can say "worked", you just have to do your best and hope your little guy is flourishing. But pumping worked. And I'm happy that the decision to stop wasn't exactly mine, my body just stopped making milk. So it was an easy end to a not-so-easy 9 months. I finally have my body back...well, until the next tiny creature inhabits it (read: when I'm insane enough to start this crazy process all over again).

"A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To be alive is to be slowly born."

~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Dreaming in Color

I've been experimenting with color saturation lately. The ridiculous thing is that I consider myself a photographer, but I'm taking pictures with a little point-and-shoot digital Kodak camera and then punching up the color in a free, very unsophisticated photo program. The only professional camera I own is my Canon A2 and it's a film camera, practically an antique now. That's how long it's been since I've taken a serious photo. I really need to get myself a digital SLR. Maybe when I win the lotto...